Angels Watching Over Me

When I’m feeling like things are going well I can feel the angels all around me. God has sent them to me ensure everything is okay.   I actually found myself talking to them today while I was in the antique mall looking for, angels. I decided I was going to start collecting them.   I don’t feel along when I believe.

Never in my lifetime would I of thought that I would be in the place I am with the thrill of knowing that the things that occurred in my past were Gods plans all along.  Now, I know why.  I had angels with me all the time and didn’t know it.  I think back at the blackest days, and I was really down  on God.  I was the most miserable and so angry all the time.  Why was God letting these things happen to me.  What have I done to deserve this.  I was never happy and I wasn’t happy with myself.  I wouldn’t listen to anyone and I ignored their advise.  The alcohol would blind me from the possibilities of happiness and the future.

Then, something happen. I suddenly felt content.  I had finally got tired of the way my life was going and I didn’t want my son to think I was a drunk and bum.  I wanted to make something of myself.  He actually begged me to stop the drinking and smoking.  When he found out I had Hep C he started to really be concerned with me.   He didn’t want me to die or be alone the rest of my life.  I listened.

That was around Christmas 2008.  On the flight home I prayed about it and said I want something new in my life.  What’s wrong with me!  I have a beautiful son, new grandson, and daughter in law.  I have a family!  The problem has been they live across the US.    Then I said to myself – there is only one thing to do.  I was always told there’s a solution to everything you just have to try.  I made a goal that I’m going to start what I have been dreaming for along time – have my own business, save money, get in physical and mental shape, and be sober. Then, I’m going to move to North Carolina to be with my family.  I want have a little shop on the boardwalk in Wilmington, NC.  I’m going to sell anything and everything I love.

I have stayed here because of my parents.  I didn’t want to leave them.  Then my father had an accident and I moved in to be a caregiver.  I was like what am I doing!  But I love them.  But I felt like my whole life just stopped.   I love and miss my son too much and wanted to watch my grandson grown up. I decided it was time that I do something for me.  I’m 57 with nothing to show for it.  Now I can.

I started praying and writing.  Then things started coming together.  My life has gotten more serene and calm.  Even with my bipolar I’m able to control it – but there are still some hard times.   When the mania or anxiety kicks in I breathe and pray, and then I write.  These prayers seem to work.  Oh,  bless is the power of prayer.

There is so much more to talk about.  Including my experiences with what I call my guardian angels in my past and future.  The darkness I felt and the demons that controlled me.

I would love to hear about other peoples experiences and stories.  I would love to publish them here on my blog.   Thanks for listening.

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3 thoughts on “Angels Watching Over Me

  1. I’m also bipolar, but 16. I feel like bipolar people have a certain connection, though. I feel for you so much, even though I don’t really know you. Faith is such a beautiful thing. God is so incredible. I feel like bipolar is simply a higher calling. Things are harder for us, but we are more in tune with the world around us. We almost get a glimpse of what God goes through, knowing all and feeling all. I went through a period where I was distant from God, mad at Him for everything I went through. Now, He is my rock through it all. Medications have all failed me, but He’s gotten me through.

    • So young to have this madness. But I to feel like it’s a gift. I agree with you that bipolar people have a certain connection with God. I also believe we also have a connection with his messengers, Angels. My life lately has been working through them. Although we are miles apart in age we seem to have the same feelings and situations. I was also mad. He took my son away, I couldn’t quit drinking, I couldn’t keep a job, almost died from an illness and much more. How could I believe? Then with a lot of praying and listening to my intuition things started changing. I no longer drink and smoke. Like you medications are failing me. I believe strongly in God, and that I have my guardian angel looking over me. I have felt and heard her. I will be writing about Divine Intuition from a book that got me through all the madness. I’m not cured in no way but writing and listening have help me be sane. God bless you and have a Merry Christmas. I wish you well. Hope to hear from you again.

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