When I’m feeling like things are going well I can feel the angels all around me. God has sent them to me ensure everything is okay. I actually found myself talking to them today while I was in the antique mall looking for, angels. I decided I was going to start collecting them. I don’t feel along when I believe.
Never in my lifetime would I of thought that I would be in the place I am with the thrill of knowing that the things that occurred in my past were Gods plans all along. Now, I know why. I had angels with me all the time and didn’t know it. I think back at the blackest days, and I was really down on God. I was the most miserable and so angry all the time. Why was God letting these things happen to me. What have I done to deserve this. I was never happy and I wasn’t happy with myself. I wouldn’t listen to anyone and I ignored their advise. The alcohol would blind me from the possibilities of happiness and the future.
Then, something happen. I suddenly felt content. I had finally got tired of the way my life was going and I didn’t want my son to think I was a drunk and bum. I wanted to make something of myself. He actually begged me to stop the drinking and smoking. When he found out I had Hep C he started to really be concerned with me. He didn’t want me to die or be alone the rest of my life. I listened.
That was around Christmas 2008. On the flight home I prayed about it and said I want something new in my life. What’s wrong with me! I have a beautiful son, new grandson, and daughter in law. I have a family! The problem has been they live across the US. Then I said to myself – there is only one thing to do. I was always told there’s a solution to everything you just have to try. I made a goal that I’m going to start what I have been dreaming for along time – have my own business, save money, get in physical and mental shape, and be sober. Then, I’m going to move to North Carolina to be with my family. I want have a little shop on the boardwalk in Wilmington, NC. I’m going to sell anything and everything I love.
I have stayed here because of my parents. I didn’t want to leave them. Then my father had an accident and I moved in to be a caregiver. I was like what am I doing! But I love them. But I felt like my whole life just stopped. I love and miss my son too much and wanted to watch my grandson grown up. I decided it was time that I do something for me. I’m 57 with nothing to show for it. Now I can.
I started praying and writing. Then things started coming together. My life has gotten more serene and calm. Even with my bipolar I’m able to control it – but there are still some hard times. When the mania or anxiety kicks in I breathe and pray, and then I write. These prayers seem to work. Oh, bless is the power of prayer.
There is so much more to talk about. Including my experiences with what I call my guardian angels in my past and future. The darkness I felt and the demons that controlled me.
I would love to hear about other peoples experiences and stories. I would love to publish them here on my blog. Thanks for listening.