Let the Sun Rise on Me
I’ve been dreaming all my life. People use to make fun of me, because my dreams were way out there. Like fantasy dreams. I didn’t like it when they made fun of me, because I was serious.
I use to have the wildest dreams of flying, seeing a witch crossing a full moon on Halloween night, but I’m not sure that was a dream. I can have a dream and feel like it really happened or is going to happen.
I use to say that I wanted to stop working. I was so tired. I visioned myself not working and starting my own business. Everyone dreams of that. I wanted it to happen. God has plans for us, but it will only happen when it wants it to happen. There’s a right place, time, situation and if I ask for it. I got it. I have my little sunglasses store. I love it.
I’ve been ill since I was 32, now 58. It started with having part of my colon removed, including my uterus and ovaries. I was a miracle the doctor said. I should have died with all the blood loss. I did survive, however, from the transfusions I received, I developed Hepatitis C.Just so more bad luck.
My whole life was bad luck. I feel it started with my abusive marriage. I don’t know why I married the man I did. But the miracle was my son. God wanted him to be my son. I use to hate God – I thought he was punishing me all my life with all the hard luck. But you know what – I kept dreaming. I think that’s what kept me alive. I found out in the end that Bipolar was the illness that caused most of my problems throughout life.
Now, that I know what’s wrong I can try to live with it. However, for the moment between all the messes I’m now living and taking care of my folks whom both have Alzheimer’s. When I moved in I had to quit my job, break my lease and sell my car. I recently found out that I have the early stages of Dementia so it’s sometimes funny to hear all of us say “I don’t know I can’t remember.” I felt like it was time to see if I could get on Social Security Disability. Everyone kept saying there was no way I would get it. The doctors said I needed it. That was in God’s plan as well.
I’ve decided to go to see my son in two weeks in Wilmington, NC. I like staying on the beach. The resorts and hotels were very expensive and pretty much booked. I accidently found this place that’s perfect. In fact, it looks just like a vision of the place that I wanted to settle in so I can do my writing and walk on the beach every morning. I booked it. If it’s what I think it’ll be I’m going to talk to the person that owns it to see if I could rent it for several months at a reasonable rate. Who knows maybe I can work there and live there. It could be another dream and it could come true.
Never dismiss your dreams. God has plans for you and he whispers these dreams in your ears they’re not just yours. He hears you and he wants you to be happy.
My other dream is to meet a nice man. I see a nice gray hair man with a nice tan with a white polo shirt on walking along the dock to his big cruiser in the dock slip. I accidently trip right in front of his boat. He reaches how to help me up. Our eyes meet each other and it was instant chemistry. Needless to say we went out on a romantic nightly cruise holding each other and whispering sweet nothings. Yes, that was another vision. But who knows it could come true. Never give up on your dreams that all you have of your own.