Intuition: Afraid to Make a Decision out of Fear- Bully on That!


Carolina Beach Pier

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As you know I strongly believe in intuition.   For the last 6 months I’ve been asking myself if I should leave my parents who I’ve been a caregiver for the last 2 years.  It’s become very stressful, and I miss my son and grandchildren.  I kept seeing myself growing old, and never seeing my family.  I could also see myself never finding love again. 

For the last 10 years I’ve been living with the devil and a bottle of alcohol.  The day I made the decision to quit is the day I grew up and became stronger.  Being stronger is making decisions.  That has always been difficult for me.  I usually ask everyone what  should do.  But instead, I knew the only person to make that decision was me.  I started listening  for a sign and direction.

I would cry and ask God what should I do.  I’ve done so much soul-searching then I remembered my very first thought (intuition) when I was trying to make a decision.   I want to move to North Carolina.  I want to be near my son and his family.  I still have some life in me and I want to live

We’re always fearful to make a decision out of fear and making the wrong choice.  However, if we can trust our instinct and intuition you become stronger and confidant in your beliefs.  I use to not be able to make decisions, and hadys had to ask other people’s opinion.  Even then I was afraid.  What should I do – just forget it?  Just stay where your are and don’t make any changes something could mess up?  Don’t take risks?   Well, I say bully on that. If you don’t take a risk you’ll never know what it could have been.  

Well,  I’m going to move to North Carolina. With that decision everything fell into place.  Out of the blue someone contacted me about a cottage on Carolina Beach two blocks from the ocean.  I listened to my intuition, and realized if I don’t make a move now it may be too late.  Hey, I’m not getting any younger.

When I move to North Carolina December 1st I’m starting a blog on my stay on Carolina Beach and where it leads me.  It should be fun.

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What Does God Look Like To You?


When I was younger I always wanted to know what God looked like.  In the show “Moses” it showed God standing in front of a burning tree.  This scared me.  In Sunday School, I asked them what God looked like?  “He can be anything you want him to be,” she said.

I wanted God to be real.  I found a book called “God on a Harley.”  Yes, that’s right God riding a Harley.  The book is about a tormented woman who is in need of help and advice and meets God in a bar.  While I was reading, I pictured God in black leather   chaps, leather jacket, leather books and long black hair riding a Harley.

Today, I know that God can be anything or anyone you want him to be. I’ve learned that God’s spirit will work through someone else to let you know that he is watching you, and let you know everything will be alright.  I believe this. Why?  Because the unexplained has happened to me several times. 

At a depressing time in my life, I was having to give myself  injections of a drug that made me very ill.  I could hardly get out of bed and I felt life was getting shorter. I pushed myself to go to the library to read up on my disease when a black man approached me.  He laid his hand on my shoulder and said (shuddering), “You are in despair, I know.  God’s prayers are with you, and said that you’ll find your answesr soon and will be better soon.”  I was so amazed that chills ran up and down my body.  I told him thank you and walked away.

This may all sound wild, but it was true.   The words he said might have been a little different.  I just know that he was right- I’m better and life looks a little bit brighter.  Thank you God.

What does God look like to you?  I would love to hear.

Define Intuition


Stop Being a Prisoner-Break Free

Intuition is a big word for me since I believe in it completely.  Since I discovered Define Intuition and started practicing it my live as been a little bit easier.  I’m not so much living on the edge like I use to.  I’m a little more careful by listening to my instincts.

When you have a decision to make about something you weight each option to see which one would be best for you.  I believe most of us do that, because like me some women have a hard time making a decision.  Having Bipolar really doesn’t make it easy.

First, I read about Intuition and how we all have it you just have to practice.  I decided to test it.  One evening, I poured a glass walked over to the couch and set the wine glass down.  When I sat on the couch I noticed the glass right on the edge of the table and any movement it would have been on the floor.  I thought about this and an idea came to me.  I also realized I didn’t remember putting the glass down. The next time I sat the glass down first before sitting.  This worked!  Sounds easy?  It is if you listen to your intuition by taking the time to listen.  Most of the time we have a dozen items on our mind or we’re thinking of what we’re going to do next.  A lot of chatter – how can we hear with that?

I accepted God in my life at a late stage in my life.  I was a big drinker mostly a binge drinker, and I was too numb to hear choices in life.  I didn’t know I had a choice.  Then, I started praying and reading about life.   I finally figured out that we have control of what happens to us.  We have a choice.  A good choice or a bad choice.   I chose God, and to get my life together by taking control of it.  There are resources out there.  You’d be surprised  how you will change when you take control of your life.  Your dreams are out there. 

Just think – this all started with the word Intuition and learning what it is.  I believe it’s God or his Angels whispering to you.  God says follow and if we follow he’ll lead us to hope and a fulfilled life  that you never thought you would have. 

Me?  I’m still alive and working on achieving what I want in life.  It may be hard, but remember you have a  choice.

Learn how I did it next…

Believing in God- Your Strength to Discovery


I’ve been fearful of God for a long time.  Why?  I didn’t feel like he would like me.  I had done terrible things.  I wasn’t taking care of myself and I was living in sin.   I let myself get out of control.   There’s no telling how many people I hurt along the way. However, I have asked for forgiveness.

When I was at my lowest point is when I met my maker.  I don’t really know why this time was different.  Maybe  I felt I had a purpose.  On a visit to Wilmington, NC to see my son talked seriously about my drinking problems.  He said, “Mom, “I want you around to be grandma to my children.”  I looked at him really surprised.  He had never being that serious with me in, well never!   I looked at him with tears streaming down my face and said, “I’ll try my best son.  It won’t be easy, but I will do it.”

It wasn’t easy.  I fought with the devil for a long time.  I started to hallucinate.  Things would come up missing.  I would see shadows.  I thought I was going crazy!  I started reading the bible asking for help.  Is all this a hallucination or was someone trying to talk to me?   At times when I was drinking, my Pomeranian would walk by me hanging his head and would briefly look up at me and keep walking.  He use to sit with me instead he went  to the back room.  I was getting a complex.  I actually believe Cody hated me smoking and drinking, and I also believe God was choosing my dog to communicate.  Really!   God does choose people, animals, and other sources to communicate.  He also whispers to you which is actually called intuition.

I read about intuition, and it says that when you hear a voice whispering “don’t sit that glass there,” and you do anyway.  The result – it falls on the floor and red wine ends up on your carpet.  Not a fun site.   This kind of incidents happened a lot to me so I began to read more about intuition, and started practicing it. To this day – sober and all – I believe that my faith in God turned my life around.  I have a lot of stories and this was just one of them.

Do you have a story you would like to share.

I Wanted To Believe There Was A God


Believing in God

Have you ever asked yourself, “Why can’t I believe in God?”   I so desperately wanted to believe in God, and all I needed was some sign.  I wanted to believe in heaven.

The time came when I experienced angels and especially God. 

It all began with my dreams that I’ve had for a long time.  You know the ones where your friends and family look at you and “Yea, keep dreaming.”   That always bothered me. 

I’ve had dreams since I was a little girl.  I wanted to be fastest girl on the track team in school.  I knew some how when I was at the starting line and looking at the finish line I was going to be there before anyone else.  At the time I didn’t know how I knew.  I just wanted it so badly, and I could see it happen in my mine.  That day I won and went on to All State.  I went on to believe that if you dream it, work hard you can achieve anything.

My dreams were all so real and some how I knew not to give up on them. I would see visions of my dreams for the future.  I started to read the bible when I was struggling with my life by reaching out for help.   The bible became my friend.

I use to think God didn’t exist because he never answered my prayers. When I asked him a question I never got an answer.  Or, maybe I just wasn’t listening.

My life has been a rough journey and I’m surprised I’ve made it this far.  I did a lot of stupid things I did in my life.  I use to believe if I was bad God wouldn’t have anything to do with me.  I learned that wasn’t so. I learned he loved you unconditionally, but I wanted him to love the person I wanted to be.

In 1989, I had a serious major surgery.  I had hemorrhage in my stomach  looking like I was 4 months pregnant.  I was sitting in a restaurant with a friend when my stomach began hurting really bad, and the jumpsuit I had on was getting tighter and tighter.  I staggered towards the door and the hostess ask if she could do anything and I said know.   I got in the car wondering how I was going to drive, but some how I knew god was on my side behind the wheel driving me home.  I got home and literally crawled up the stairs to my bed.  I called my dad.  I don’t know why I didn’t call the ambulance.  My dad was there in about 20 minutes.  They helped me to get down the stairs and every tiny move was painful.  I laid in back of the camper and every bump they hit I would scream. I was so scared I couldn’t imagine what was wrong. I got to the emergency room and the nurse said you need to empty your bladder.  “Are you kidding me!  I can’t even move!   About that time my doctored arrived with a big huge syringe full of vallum.   I didn’t remember anything for 2 days.

It turned out my fever got so high the doctors thought they were going to lose me so they put me in a bath tub of ice.  I don’t remember any of this.  The doctors ended up sending me to surgery. They had to remove half of my colon, uterus, ovaries and put a colonoscopy (a bag) on me. I woke up in my room with my mother sitting at my side.  I had tubes out my nose, stomach in couple of places and a huge bandage on my stomach.   I remember the doctor coming in and telling me “Your one lucky girl.  With the amount of blood you lost you shouldn’t have lived.”   I prayed that night and thanked god for seeing me through the surgery safely. 

Can you relate to this story?  God has played a part  in my life for a long time.  It just took a nudge to get me to listen to him.  When I began to listen and hear him a whole new way of life opened up for me. I realize now that it was God that was there with me all the time and there were times that he tested me.    My journey begins with the pains and failures I went through before God really came into my life and we worked together.  Come with me…

Believing My Intuition Led Me to A Decision


Listen & Believe

I totally believe in intuition.  I accepted God in my Life 1 1/2 years ago.  Yes, I know why did it take you so long?   Good question.   I spent too many year waddling in self-pity and depression.  I was numb with alcohol.  But, one day I woke up and decided enough was enough.  My days were just going by me.  I’m a grandmother and I wanted to be a grandmother.  I asked God to come into my life and let him know that I will listen and I will follow.  I will put my life in his hands and give me comfort.

After that I started experiencing the oddest things that actually turned out to be miracles.  I wanted to believe.  I wanted to believe in God, Angels and miracles.  Miracles can happen you just have to listen to the voices. I read that it’s actually your intuition and it takes special ability – Listen.

I actually believe the whispers I  heard were those of God or Angels.  If you just stand still for a second and clear your mind  you will hear the whispers. To this day I believe because it has totally changed me and my thoughts.  When my intuition speaks I listen.

Recently, there was a decision to make that was stirring me crazy.  I’d reserved a duplex for 3 months in November, December and January in Wilmington NC at Carolina Beach  I thought the rent seem cheap enough except when I read the lease there was something that didn’t seem right.  My gut was twisting and turning.

For days, I obsessed about it – anxiety, heart racing,  and I couldn’t sleep!  I was driving myself crazy, along with those close to me.  My  gut (intuition) was telling me something, and I believe it was telling me to put off the trip.  I started writing the negatives and positives about the situation and something happen.   The answer will come in your writing and then you’ll feel better.  I put down the negatives and positives –

  • Too much money.
  • Didn’t know what the place looked like.
  • I had to pay utilities.
  • Pet Deposit.
  • Airline tickets.

and

  • Doctor appointment regarding my illness and might need to have treatments.

The negatives outweighed the positive.

I got my journal out and wrote all my thoughts down all the way down to my decision. When I got to the end I wrote out my decision, but it didn’t feel like me writing.

The decision was not to go. I felt so much better!  I will continue to believe in God and my power of intuition.  I will continue to listen carefully for those whispers.   You’ve got to believe and trust what you  hear and miracles will open up for you.

What is Intuition?


What is intuition? It’s the ability to get a sense, vision or feeling about someone or something. My intuition comes from self and whispers.  I believe these whispers are that of God sending messages to the angels.  Then, they in turn whisper in their angelic message language. We all have intuition. We are born with it. We use it as children we do not know any better. We go on our instinct or gut. But as we grow older the unknown is fearful to us and we don’t want to believe.  We say, I don’t believe in ghosts, vampires, werewolves, or any thing else that is not who we are.  I use to be that way. But now after so many miracles, I believe.  Unless you can prove any different – they exist in my mind. Am I scared?  Of course, but I’m open to the possibilities.

Intuition can be strengthened.  I spent hard time trying to learn and believe.  I came from being a drunk with Bipolar to a person with Bipolar & Dementia trying to survive and live the dreams she has had for along time. Yes, and with the miracle of God, I can still write. If you have dreams and you want something so badly – you can achieve it.  You just have to work very hard for it.  I taught my son this and he is very successful today.

I’m 58, and I have lost a lot of time in life by being crippled.  Bu now, I am going to live the rest of my life the way I want to and the way I have dreamed.  I will listen to my intuition, because I know it will be the right direction. I still have my ups and downs, and I’m going to, which I will discuss later.  But right now – I just want to be happy and believe.  You try it.