Tag Archive | Dreams

I Wanted To Believe There Was A God


Believing in God

Have you ever asked yourself, “Why can’t I believe in God?”   I so desperately wanted to believe in God, and all I needed was some sign.  I wanted to believe in heaven.

The time came when I experienced angels and especially God. 

It all began with my dreams that I’ve had for a long time.  You know the ones where your friends and family look at you and “Yea, keep dreaming.”   That always bothered me. 

I’ve had dreams since I was a little girl.  I wanted to be fastest girl on the track team in school.  I knew some how when I was at the starting line and looking at the finish line I was going to be there before anyone else.  At the time I didn’t know how I knew.  I just wanted it so badly, and I could see it happen in my mine.  That day I won and went on to All State.  I went on to believe that if you dream it, work hard you can achieve anything.

My dreams were all so real and some how I knew not to give up on them. I would see visions of my dreams for the future.  I started to read the bible when I was struggling with my life by reaching out for help.   The bible became my friend.

I use to think God didn’t exist because he never answered my prayers. When I asked him a question I never got an answer.  Or, maybe I just wasn’t listening.

My life has been a rough journey and I’m surprised I’ve made it this far.  I did a lot of stupid things I did in my life.  I use to believe if I was bad God wouldn’t have anything to do with me.  I learned that wasn’t so. I learned he loved you unconditionally, but I wanted him to love the person I wanted to be.

In 1989, I had a serious major surgery.  I had hemorrhage in my stomach  looking like I was 4 months pregnant.  I was sitting in a restaurant with a friend when my stomach began hurting really bad, and the jumpsuit I had on was getting tighter and tighter.  I staggered towards the door and the hostess ask if she could do anything and I said know.   I got in the car wondering how I was going to drive, but some how I knew god was on my side behind the wheel driving me home.  I got home and literally crawled up the stairs to my bed.  I called my dad.  I don’t know why I didn’t call the ambulance.  My dad was there in about 20 minutes.  They helped me to get down the stairs and every tiny move was painful.  I laid in back of the camper and every bump they hit I would scream. I was so scared I couldn’t imagine what was wrong. I got to the emergency room and the nurse said you need to empty your bladder.  “Are you kidding me!  I can’t even move!   About that time my doctored arrived with a big huge syringe full of vallum.   I didn’t remember anything for 2 days.

It turned out my fever got so high the doctors thought they were going to lose me so they put me in a bath tub of ice.  I don’t remember any of this.  The doctors ended up sending me to surgery. They had to remove half of my colon, uterus, ovaries and put a colonoscopy (a bag) on me. I woke up in my room with my mother sitting at my side.  I had tubes out my nose, stomach in couple of places and a huge bandage on my stomach.   I remember the doctor coming in and telling me “Your one lucky girl.  With the amount of blood you lost you shouldn’t have lived.”   I prayed that night and thanked god for seeing me through the surgery safely. 

Can you relate to this story?  God has played a part  in my life for a long time.  It just took a nudge to get me to listen to him.  When I began to listen and hear him a whole new way of life opened up for me. I realize now that it was God that was there with me all the time and there were times that he tested me.    My journey begins with the pains and failures I went through before God really came into my life and we worked together.  Come with me…

Believing My Intuition Led Me to A Decision


Listen & Believe

I totally believe in intuition.  I accepted God in my Life 1 1/2 years ago.  Yes, I know why did it take you so long?   Good question.   I spent too many year waddling in self-pity and depression.  I was numb with alcohol.  But, one day I woke up and decided enough was enough.  My days were just going by me.  I’m a grandmother and I wanted to be a grandmother.  I asked God to come into my life and let him know that I will listen and I will follow.  I will put my life in his hands and give me comfort.

After that I started experiencing the oddest things that actually turned out to be miracles.  I wanted to believe.  I wanted to believe in God, Angels and miracles.  Miracles can happen you just have to listen to the voices. I read that it’s actually your intuition and it takes special ability – Listen.

I actually believe the whispers I  heard were those of God or Angels.  If you just stand still for a second and clear your mind  you will hear the whispers. To this day I believe because it has totally changed me and my thoughts.  When my intuition speaks I listen.

Recently, there was a decision to make that was stirring me crazy.  I’d reserved a duplex for 3 months in November, December and January in Wilmington NC at Carolina Beach  I thought the rent seem cheap enough except when I read the lease there was something that didn’t seem right.  My gut was twisting and turning.

For days, I obsessed about it – anxiety, heart racing,  and I couldn’t sleep!  I was driving myself crazy, along with those close to me.  My  gut (intuition) was telling me something, and I believe it was telling me to put off the trip.  I started writing the negatives and positives about the situation and something happen.   The answer will come in your writing and then you’ll feel better.  I put down the negatives and positives –

  • Too much money.
  • Didn’t know what the place looked like.
  • I had to pay utilities.
  • Pet Deposit.
  • Airline tickets.

and

  • Doctor appointment regarding my illness and might need to have treatments.

The negatives outweighed the positive.

I got my journal out and wrote all my thoughts down all the way down to my decision. When I got to the end I wrote out my decision, but it didn’t feel like me writing.

The decision was not to go. I felt so much better!  I will continue to believe in God and my power of intuition.  I will continue to listen carefully for those whispers.   You’ve got to believe and trust what you  hear and miracles will open up for you.

What is Intuition?


What is intuition? It’s the ability to get a sense, vision or feeling about someone or something. My intuition comes from self and whispers.  I believe these whispers are that of God sending messages to the angels.  Then, they in turn whisper in their angelic message language. We all have intuition. We are born with it. We use it as children we do not know any better. We go on our instinct or gut. But as we grow older the unknown is fearful to us and we don’t want to believe.  We say, I don’t believe in ghosts, vampires, werewolves, or any thing else that is not who we are.  I use to be that way. But now after so many miracles, I believe.  Unless you can prove any different – they exist in my mind. Am I scared?  Of course, but I’m open to the possibilities.

Intuition can be strengthened.  I spent hard time trying to learn and believe.  I came from being a drunk with Bipolar to a person with Bipolar & Dementia trying to survive and live the dreams she has had for along time. Yes, and with the miracle of God, I can still write. If you have dreams and you want something so badly – you can achieve it.  You just have to work very hard for it.  I taught my son this and he is very successful today.

I’m 58, and I have lost a lot of time in life by being crippled.  Bu now, I am going to live the rest of my life the way I want to and the way I have dreamed.  I will listen to my intuition, because I know it will be the right direction. I still have my ups and downs, and I’m going to, which I will discuss later.  But right now – I just want to be happy and believe.  You try it.

Dreams Can Come True With A Little Push


Let the Sun Rise on Me

I’ve been dreaming all my life.  People use to make fun of me, because my dreams were way out there.  Like fantasy dreams.  I didn’t like it when they made fun of me, because I was serious.

I use to have the wildest dreams of flying, seeing a witch crossing a full moon on Halloween night, but I’m not sure that was a dream.  I can have a dream and feel like it really happened or is  going to happen.

I use to say that I wanted to stop working.   I was so tired.  I visioned myself  not working and starting my own business. Everyone dreams of that.  I wanted it to happen.  God has plans for us, but it will only happen when it wants it to happen.  There’s a right place, time, situation and if I ask for it. I got it.  I have my little sunglasses store.  I love it.

I’ve been ill since I was 32, now 58.  It started with having part of my colon removed, including my uterus and ovaries.  I was a miracle the doctor said.  I should have died with all the blood loss.  I did survive,  however, from the transfusions I received, I developed Hepatitis C.Just so more bad luck.

My whole life was bad luck.  I feel it started with my abusive marriage.  I don’t know why I married the man I did.  But the miracle was my son.  God wanted him to be my son.  I use to hate God – I thought he was punishing me all my life with all the hard luck.  But you know what – I kept dreaming.  I think that’s what kept me alive.  I found out in the end that Bipolar was the illness that caused most of my problems throughout life.

Now, that I know what’s wrong I can try to live with it.  However, for the moment between all the messes I’m now living and taking care of my folks whom both have Alzheimer’s.   When I moved in I had to quit my job, break my lease and sell my car.  I recently found out that I have the early stages of Dementia so it’s sometimes funny to hear all of us say “I don’t know I can’t remember.”   I felt like it was time to see if I could get on Social Security Disability.  Everyone kept saying there was no way I would get it.  The doctors said I needed it. That was in God’s plan as well.

I’ve decided to go to see my son in two weeks in Wilmington, NC. I like staying on the beach.  The resorts and hotels were very expensive and pretty much booked.  I accidently found this place that’s perfect.  In fact, it looks just like a vision of the place that I wanted to settle in so I can do my writing and walk on the beach every morning.  I booked it.  If it’s what I think it’ll be I’m going to talk to the person that owns it to see if I could rent it for several months at a reasonable rate.  Who knows maybe I can work there and live there.  It could be another dream and it could come true.

Never dismiss your dreams.  God has  plans for you and he whispers these dreams in your ears they’re not just yours.  He hears you and he wants you to be happy.

My other dream is to meet a nice man.  I see a nice gray hair man with a nice tan with a white polo shirt on walking along the dock to his  big cruiser in the dock slip.  I accidently trip right in front of his boat.  He reaches how to help me up.  Our eyes meet each other and it was instant chemistry.  Needless to say we went out on a romantic  nightly cruise holding each other and whispering sweet nothings.  Yes, that was another vision.  But who knows it could come true.   Never give up on your dreams that all you have of your own.

Dreams are the Threshold of Your Life


I love to write. I don’t have the greatest English like grammar, punctuation, etc, but I’m creative and I love to write. I feel that some of my writings are interesting.  It feels good to write.  My mine gets so jammed with information and if I don’t write them down I’ll forget.  Usually these are great stories. All my stories are real life situations.

I use to wake from a wild dream and write it down so that I could go back to sleep.  Sometimes my dreams happened in real life which is scary.  Sometimes good and sometimes bad.

When I was a little girl I would sleep walk.  My mom would catch me at the front door.  Where would I have gone?

I had the same dreams all the time.  At times I would start where my dream left off the night before.    Most of my dreams were about being chased and flying.  I could run so fast that when I got up to speed I could just lift off like an airplane and fly from rooftop to rooftop.  I loved flying.   My wish is to fly with the eagle and see amazing things in life.

Another dream that I had constantly was hearing something strange in the living room, and walking to the front window.  I would open the curtains and there standing in front of me – staring back was this dark hairy creature.  It would have a large gun where the barrel was like that of the Pilgrims.  You know that big horn musket?  When I saw this creature I would run out the front door and start running until I lifted off.  I would fly to the end of the street where a tunnel led to the other side.  I always thought if I could get to the other side I would be okay.  Then  I would wake up.  What did these dreams mean?

My Guardian Angel Was Playing Tricks


I have believed in My Guardian Angel or Spirit Guide for a long time.  I can’t believe anything else or explain some of the things that have happened.   I thought things would change when I moved in with my parents to take care of them.

I can’t believe that I’m crazy all the time.  Really, can a person lose things all the time?   I have it one minute and gone the next – it just drives me crazy.  Today, I couldn’t find my remote to the TV.  I had it first thing this morning when I turned the TV on.  Then later it was gone.  I spend all more looking for the remote.  I mean everywhere!  I even tore the bed up looking for it.  Then I just said forget it.  It’ll show up.  I had to stop because I was getting ready to have an anxiety attack.

I sat down to watch TV.  As I reach over to get my water I happen to look down and there was the remote.  I had looked there!  I had moved my kleenex, makeup case and picked up some trash.  It was not there then!  But now, there it was!  How do you explain that?  I just said, okay Grace why are you playing tricks?

Grace is the name I gave my Guardian angel.  I believe she looks just like the picture in my blog.  I also have an animal spirit guide – a wolf.  His name is Wolf Dreams.  I believe in my Native American heritage so this is what I believe.

Just the day before my mom couldn’t find her comb for 2 days.  We both searched her room up and down.  This afternoon, mom came in my room, “You won’t believe this!  My comb! My comb was laying in front of the dresser!”   I just looked at her with my mouth open.  I was stunned.

Hopefully, this also means that Grace has come back and is watching over my mom and me.  Lord, we need it.   Thank you God for giving her to me.

My ANGEL – MICHAEL


I believe in divine intuition.  I believe there is a god, angels and guardian angels.  Why?  I’ve experienced all of them.  My life has been saved too many times to not believe.  With Bipolar I have found more spirituality in my life.  I strongly want to believe so I listen to their voices and know that I am now alone.

Recently, I found out that my angel is Michael.  How great is that.  The following is what was giving to me and would like to share it with you.  I also have a Guardian Angel who I named Sierra.  She’s with me all the time.  I’ll introduce her later.

Michael – Leader of the Archangels

“Who is like God”, “Like unto God”, “Who is like the Divine” The first Angel

Michael - The Archangel

Hold him close to your heart

created by God, Michael is the leader of all the Archangels and is in charge of protection, courage, strength, truth and integrity. Michael protects us physically, emotionally and psychically. He also oversees the light worker’s life purpose. His chief function is to rid the earth and its inhabitants of the toxins associated with fear. Michael carries a flaming sword that he uses to cut through etheric cords and protects us from Satan and negative entities. When he’s around you may see sparkles or flashes of bright blue or purple light. Michael is helping if you find yourself under psychic attack or if you feel you lack commitment, motivation and dedication to your beliefs, courage, direction, energy, vitality, self-esteem, worthiness. Michael helps us to realize our life’s purpose and he’s invaluable to light workers helping with protection, space clearing and spirit releasement. Michael conquered the fallen Angel Satan, was in the Garden of Eden to teach Adam how to farm and care for his family, spoke to Moses on Mount Sinai and in 1950 he was canonized as Saint Michael, “the patron of Police Officers,” because he helps with heroic deeds and bravery. Michael also has an incredible knack for fixing electrical and mechanical devices, including computers and automobiles. Michael helps us to follow our truth without compromising our integrity and helps us to find our true natures and to be faithful to who we really are. Michael’s message is don’t be afraid to stand for what you believe in and to fight for what you desire in life!!