Tag Archive | hope

What Does God Look Like To You?

When I was younger I always wanted to know what God looked like.  In the show “Moses” it showed God standing in front of a burning tree.  This scared me.  In Sunday School, I asked them what God looked like?  “He can be anything you want him to be,” she said.

I wanted God to be real.  I found a book called “God on a Harley.”  Yes, that’s right God riding a Harley.  The book is about a tormented woman who is in need of help and advice and meets God in a bar.  While I was reading, I pictured God in black leather   chaps, leather jacket, leather books and long black hair riding a Harley.

Today, I know that God can be anything or anyone you want him to be. I’ve learned that God’s spirit will work through someone else to let you know that he is watching you, and let you know everything will be alright.  I believe this. Why?  Because the unexplained has happened to me several times. 

At a depressing time in my life, I was having to give myself  injections of a drug that made me very ill.  I could hardly get out of bed and I felt life was getting shorter. I pushed myself to go to the library to read up on my disease when a black man approached me.  He laid his hand on my shoulder and said (shuddering), “You are in despair, I know.  God’s prayers are with you, and said that you’ll find your answesr soon and will be better soon.”  I was so amazed that chills ran up and down my body.  I told him thank you and walked away.

This may all sound wild, but it was true.   The words he said might have been a little different.  I just know that he was right- I’m better and life looks a little bit brighter.  Thank you God.

What does God look like to you?  I would love to hear.

Define Intuition

Stop Being a Prisoner-Break Free

Intuition is a big word for me since I believe in it completely.  Since I discovered Define Intuition and started practicing it my live as been a little bit easier.  I’m not so much living on the edge like I use to.  I’m a little more careful by listening to my instincts.

When you have a decision to make about something you weight each option to see which one would be best for you.  I believe most of us do that, because like me some women have a hard time making a decision.  Having Bipolar really doesn’t make it easy.

First, I read about Intuition and how we all have it you just have to practice.  I decided to test it.  One evening, I poured a glass walked over to the couch and set the wine glass down.  When I sat on the couch I noticed the glass right on the edge of the table and any movement it would have been on the floor.  I thought about this and an idea came to me.  I also realized I didn’t remember putting the glass down. The next time I sat the glass down first before sitting.  This worked!  Sounds easy?  It is if you listen to your intuition by taking the time to listen.  Most of the time we have a dozen items on our mind or we’re thinking of what we’re going to do next.  A lot of chatter – how can we hear with that?

I accepted God in my life at a late stage in my life.  I was a big drinker mostly a binge drinker, and I was too numb to hear choices in life.  I didn’t know I had a choice.  Then, I started praying and reading about life.   I finally figured out that we have control of what happens to us.  We have a choice.  A good choice or a bad choice.   I chose God, and to get my life together by taking control of it.  There are resources out there.  You’d be surprised  how you will change when you take control of your life.  Your dreams are out there. 

Just think – this all started with the word Intuition and learning what it is.  I believe it’s God or his Angels whispering to you.  God says follow and if we follow he’ll lead us to hope and a fulfilled life  that you never thought you would have. 

Me?  I’m still alive and working on achieving what I want in life.  It may be hard, but remember you have a  choice.

Learn how I did it next…

Believing My Intuition Led Me to A Decision

Listen & Believe

I totally believe in intuition.  I accepted God in my Life 1 1/2 years ago.  Yes, I know why did it take you so long?   Good question.   I spent too many year waddling in self-pity and depression.  I was numb with alcohol.  But, one day I woke up and decided enough was enough.  My days were just going by me.  I’m a grandmother and I wanted to be a grandmother.  I asked God to come into my life and let him know that I will listen and I will follow.  I will put my life in his hands and give me comfort.

After that I started experiencing the oddest things that actually turned out to be miracles.  I wanted to believe.  I wanted to believe in God, Angels and miracles.  Miracles can happen you just have to listen to the voices. I read that it’s actually your intuition and it takes special ability – Listen.

I actually believe the whispers I  heard were those of God or Angels.  If you just stand still for a second and clear your mind  you will hear the whispers. To this day I believe because it has totally changed me and my thoughts.  When my intuition speaks I listen.

Recently, there was a decision to make that was stirring me crazy.  I’d reserved a duplex for 3 months in November, December and January in Wilmington NC at Carolina Beach  I thought the rent seem cheap enough except when I read the lease there was something that didn’t seem right.  My gut was twisting and turning.

For days, I obsessed about it – anxiety, heart racing,  and I couldn’t sleep!  I was driving myself crazy, along with those close to me.  My  gut (intuition) was telling me something, and I believe it was telling me to put off the trip.  I started writing the negatives and positives about the situation and something happen.   The answer will come in your writing and then you’ll feel better.  I put down the negatives and positives –

  • Too much money.
  • Didn’t know what the place looked like.
  • I had to pay utilities.
  • Pet Deposit.
  • Airline tickets.


  • Doctor appointment regarding my illness and might need to have treatments.

The negatives outweighed the positive.

I got my journal out and wrote all my thoughts down all the way down to my decision. When I got to the end I wrote out my decision, but it didn’t feel like me writing.

The decision was not to go. I felt so much better!  I will continue to believe in God and my power of intuition.  I will continue to listen carefully for those whispers.   You’ve got to believe and trust what you  hear and miracles will open up for you.

Angels Watching Over Me

When I’m feeling like things are going well I can feel the angels all around me. God has sent them to me ensure everything is okay.   I actually found myself talking to them today while I was in the antique mall looking for, angels. I decided I was going to start collecting them.   I don’t feel along when I believe.

Never in my lifetime would I of thought that I would be in the place I am with the thrill of knowing that the things that occurred in my past were Gods plans all along.  Now, I know why.  I had angels with me all the time and didn’t know it.  I think back at the blackest days, and I was really down  on God.  I was the most miserable and so angry all the time.  Why was God letting these things happen to me.  What have I done to deserve this.  I was never happy and I wasn’t happy with myself.  I wouldn’t listen to anyone and I ignored their advise.  The alcohol would blind me from the possibilities of happiness and the future.

Then, something happen. I suddenly felt content.  I had finally got tired of the way my life was going and I didn’t want my son to think I was a drunk and bum.  I wanted to make something of myself.  He actually begged me to stop the drinking and smoking.  When he found out I had Hep C he started to really be concerned with me.   He didn’t want me to die or be alone the rest of my life.  I listened.

That was around Christmas 2008.  On the flight home I prayed about it and said I want something new in my life.  What’s wrong with me!  I have a beautiful son, new grandson, and daughter in law.  I have a family!  The problem has been they live across the US.    Then I said to myself – there is only one thing to do.  I was always told there’s a solution to everything you just have to try.  I made a goal that I’m going to start what I have been dreaming for along time – have my own business, save money, get in physical and mental shape, and be sober. Then, I’m going to move to North Carolina to be with my family.  I want have a little shop on the boardwalk in Wilmington, NC.  I’m going to sell anything and everything I love.

I have stayed here because of my parents.  I didn’t want to leave them.  Then my father had an accident and I moved in to be a caregiver.  I was like what am I doing!  But I love them.  But I felt like my whole life just stopped.   I love and miss my son too much and wanted to watch my grandson grown up. I decided it was time that I do something for me.  I’m 57 with nothing to show for it.  Now I can.

I started praying and writing.  Then things started coming together.  My life has gotten more serene and calm.  Even with my bipolar I’m able to control it – but there are still some hard times.   When the mania or anxiety kicks in I breathe and pray, and then I write.  These prayers seem to work.  Oh,  bless is the power of prayer.

There is so much more to talk about.  Including my experiences with what I call my guardian angels in my past and future.  The darkness I felt and the demons that controlled me.

I would love to hear about other peoples experiences and stories.  I would love to publish them here on my blog.   Thanks for listening.