Tag Archive | Wilmington

Believing in God- Your Strength to Discovery

I’ve been fearful of God for a long time.  Why?  I didn’t feel like he would like me.  I had done terrible things.  I wasn’t taking care of myself and I was living in sin.   I let myself get out of control.   There’s no telling how many people I hurt along the way. However, I have asked for forgiveness.

When I was at my lowest point is when I met my maker.  I don’t really know why this time was different.  Maybe  I felt I had a purpose.  On a visit to Wilmington, NC to see my son talked seriously about my drinking problems.  He said, “Mom, “I want you around to be grandma to my children.”  I looked at him really surprised.  He had never being that serious with me in, well never!   I looked at him with tears streaming down my face and said, “I’ll try my best son.  It won’t be easy, but I will do it.”

It wasn’t easy.  I fought with the devil for a long time.  I started to hallucinate.  Things would come up missing.  I would see shadows.  I thought I was going crazy!  I started reading the bible asking for help.  Is all this a hallucination or was someone trying to talk to me?   At times when I was drinking, my Pomeranian would walk by me hanging his head and would briefly look up at me and keep walking.  He use to sit with me instead he went  to the back room.  I was getting a complex.  I actually believe Cody hated me smoking and drinking, and I also believe God was choosing my dog to communicate.  Really!   God does choose people, animals, and other sources to communicate.  He also whispers to you which is actually called intuition.

I read about intuition, and it says that when you hear a voice whispering “don’t sit that glass there,” and you do anyway.  The result – it falls on the floor and red wine ends up on your carpet.  Not a fun site.   This kind of incidents happened a lot to me so I began to read more about intuition, and started practicing it. To this day – sober and all – I believe that my faith in God turned my life around.  I have a lot of stories and this was just one of them.

Do you have a story you would like to share.

You Can Make Your Dreams Come True

When you’re trying to make a decision your first thought could be telling you to do one thing while your second thought would interrupt that thought and you decide to go with that decision.  Wrong choice.

For instance, you have a drink in your hand and you put it down and a thought pops in your mind “Be Careful.”  You don’t listen to that voice or thought and you do it anyway and then a few minutes later you reach for the glass and it falls and breaks.  I’ve done this many times.  The first thought is your real intuition or your higher power, or your angel,  suggesting  not to put the glass down on the table in that exact spot.  Or, you’ve met someone and your first thought I don’t feel this is the right person and you continue seeing him any, because your lonely. It turns out that your first though was right and he turned out to be wrong for you.

I’ve come to believe that this is your guardian Angel, intuition or higher power making these suggestions.   We just need to learn to listen to them.  If we listen our lives could be a little bit better and we’ll learn what our God wants us to do.  If I had listen to it a long time ago my dreams and aspirations could of happened a long time ago,  Instead, I made bad choices in my life.  I just didn’t listen, because I didn’t believe.

My job now is to listen very carefully to that little voice inside of me and to make the right choices.  I started listening last August, after being laid off again.  This cycle has been repetitive for the last 20 or more years.  Get a job, get laid off.    I kept telling myself, and I even wrote about it in my journals that I needed to focus on what I want.  Even in Rehab I wrote my goals down, and 1) Own Photography business 2) Make jewelry 3) Have a photograph of mine published, and 4) Open my Own Business.   These are things that I enjoy and I feel that I am really good at.  They’ve been on my mind all my life.  But, I was afraid, never had the money,  and afraid of failing.   I just didn’t try.  I think I felt like I wasn’t good enough.

This time, I’m bound and determine to get  my business off the ground.  I now design and make my own jewelry, photograph them and publish on the Internet. I have opened a store on eBay and it’s doing pretty good.  I’ve had creator block.  I could not come up with a design for my jewelry.  Then one day I heard and whisper and I listened.  I made that necklace and it turned out great.

My next dream is moving to Wilmington, NC to be with my son and his family.  I have a grand son, my first and only one.  I plan to do more marketing on my shops and recently I got a great marketing and sales job with a company.  This will  help me save money to move and open my own shop.   That’s my goal and I’m sticking with it.  No turning back.

Thanks for listening. Your remarks are appreciated.